Suicide survivor, I wear my heart on my sleeve and speak very open and honestly about childhood traumas, constant bullying, being a victim of sexual abuse, twice, surviving an abusive relationship, having horrendous PTSD and eating disorders, and the events and other existing factors that led me to trying to take my own life. No one believed I tried to take my own life as I wear a mask, my mask protects me. I am the life and soul of every party, full of joy and will do anything to make others smile. How did I hide my pain, my suffering with all those closest to me. How did I fool everyone, and what happened when my mask started to slip. What I do now when I feel lost, in those times of crisis. How do I cope. I go into detail about what works for me, in particular playing music.