My life has been dictated by coincidence and the journey from teacher to international judge of dogs is a zig-zag, exciting, engaging, and an occasionally laugh-out-loud ride.

Along the way, I have been a cabinet maker, a mortuary attendant, taught the 'can'ts, the won'ts, and shan'ts' at big comprehensive schools, spent eleven years as deputy to the Director of Battersea Dogs Home, been a writer and journalist about all aspects of dog ownership and pet care, owned a weekly newspaper, been a local politician, expelled from the conservative party, mayor of a county town and been guest singer at the 606 Jazz Club in Chelsea.

My talk needs to be 'live' to be appreciated and some knowledge of those likely to be present is always useful